Things Of Bella

Forget-me-not flowers. Source: unknown, Pinterest Oh, to touch that skin of yours and feel the excitement and electricity of meeting someone new. Getting to know you bit by bit, twenty miles away from me  —  such an amazing discovery. Wondering if it's all fun and games, Reason warns me: the attitude, my dear, it never lies. There is a blur in my mind whenever I'm talking to you as if I can't do nothing else but learn more about this life of yours and share mine. Fear and discouragement, still on the way, saying: "do it not, for it'll go wrong again. Life's a box full of disappointments and we need not another for our collection." I try not to raise expectations as my heart is imprisioned, once again, for fantasizing excessively.  Protective measures, you see. But I go on, still; I crave you. To start feeling deared, and loved, and cared for by other than not your family and friends is such a miracle that it seems a lie:  A lie I want not to end, for I wan...

Today was hard to breathe. The air, light and clean, My toughts, heavy and unwilling to leave. What to study first it's difficult to mend. Chest hurts. Can't even outburst my heart's content. No wonder I need to go  back to therapy. The daylight is scary, but wish it to never end. The night has come  and so has anxiety. Sudden relief. Quietness, dark's bequeath. A strong desire: to live,  to study, to paint,  and to breathe. And then there's guilt Guilt for not taking care (But I am trying, I swear) of a future spilt.